A comedian’s guide to understanding autism
Hey there humans - and fellow extraterrestrials, gather 'round because we're about to embark on a cosmic journey into the fascinating world of autism. Find your Indiana Jones-style hat and get ready to enter the labyrinth that is autism.
Not a Spectrum. More Like a Really Elaborate Venn Diagram.
First things first. Let go of the spectrum thing. That’s no longer a useful point of reference, the spectrum model has been canceled.
Imagine that Autism is a multi-faceted Venn Diagram that's as colorful as a unicorn's mane. There's no one-size-fits-all definition of autism, and that's the quagmire of it. It's a conglomeration of awesomeness where each person brings their unique talents and quirks to the party.
For some people, the sensory aspects and fixated interests are highly predominant. For others, the communication component may mean that they do not speak with words at all - while still others may experience intermittent mutism at various points in life (or only when in total emotional overwhelm and autistic shutdown). Some people experience a social phenomenon where they become hyper-fixated on one person (or a small group of people) and are really interested in being with those people constantly - while others have no interest in engaging with humans unless absolutely necessary. Some may be concert pianists, others might be world-class gamers, and most have a hard time managing a trip to the grocery store.
See why the “spectrum model” doesn’t really work? It was an initial attempt to capture the complexity that is Autism, and worked okay, I guess, for a time. But more recent research, more time spent by clinicians in understanding the whole shebang, and a greater emphasis on centering and highlighting Autistic voices (by this I mean actually listening to Autistic people, and centering Autistic perspectives and lived experiences) …. has led to the Venn Diagram idea. It seems to more fully capture the wide range of lived experiences of Autistic people.
"What's the Word, Autobot?"
Sometimes, people with autism are passionate about specific topics to the point where they become human encyclopedias. Have you ever met someone who can (and will continue at great length to) tell you everything about the history of paperclips or the migratory patterns of Canadian geese? Well, that might just be your friendly neighborhood autobot!
This particular aspect, the fixated interests component of Autism, can be great. It can be challenging. Like most things in the world of Autism, it is usually both. It means that someone may find that they are interested in horses … and proceed to learn everything about horses, all the time, constantly. They will want to talk to you about horses, play video games that allow them to interact with horses (or play in Wild Mode and BE a horse), take up horseback riding ASAP, make big years-long plans, and reshape their life to incorporate horses into the daily milieu. This can be great fun and enchanting because it’s a wonderful experience to feel excited about and passionate about a topic, hobby, or interest.
It can also be challenging because the person may only want to talk about horses - not dinner or homework or anything else that needs our time and energy. It can become all-encompassing and pull focus away from other things in our lives that need attention, time, and energy.
The Sensory Sensation Extravaganza
Autism can make our senses go on a rollercoaster adventure. Imagine seeing the world in high-definition 4D or hearing sounds so sharp they could slice through a diamond. It's like having a VIP pass to the Sensory Sensation Extravaganza! Can be fun. Can be overwhelming.
This feature of Autism can be wonderful when you’re cuddled into a cozy blanket, your favorite pair of fuzzy socks on, and your cup o’ hot cocoa in hand. Autistic people experience sensory input in a more profound and intense way, so pleasurable experiences are just … astronomically good.
However, like all things Autie, this highly sensory orientation to experience life and the world can boomerang back and hit you in the damn forehead. And hard. Finding “the right pair of socks” (depending on their thickness, height, squeeziness around the foot, how the sock interacts with the pants you’re planning on wearing as well, etc) can turn into a 45-minute-long ordeal in the morning (and may include bonus points for total sensory overwhelm, an autistic meltdown, and a fit of tears). Now imagine that this process has to be repeated every day. And it all has to happen before you get to school or work at 730 or 8 am. It’s a tall order and can be really stressful (and all this before you’ve even had your coffee).
The Wild West of Social Conundrums
For some autistic folks, social interactions might feel like trying to crack the Da Vinci Code while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. But guess what? The unique perspectives and honesty of autistics can lead to the most hilarious and insightful conversations.
It may mean that someone has no social interest nearly at all - but it could also mean that they have a strong desire for friendships, relationships, and being a part of a social community but that they have a hard time navigating social expectations, communication boundaries, and just generally “knowing what to do” in these settings. This aspect can manifest as difficulties for an Autistic person only when interacting with more than one person at a time. Group settings (and very large, potentially overstimulating events) tend to be particularly difficult. It's important to note that this may be difficulties in the interactions with others, or it may manifest internally only (and lead to a high load of internal stress which may or may not come out in interactions with others, either way, it is not a cool thing to experience inside). Or it may be that the Autistic person tends to be perceived as rude, aloof, or too intense in social situations. Again, the Venn Diagram model applies well here.
On an interesting note (at least I think it’s interesting), some autistic people engage in masking behaviors. Others might word this as “able to mask” versus an Autie who is “unable to mask”. And I guess you could frame it that way. But it comes at a high cost, so I don’t know entirely how I feel about that framing. “Able to mask” means that the person has learned (usually through intense and deliberate social pattern recognition efforts learned over the course of years) how to engage with neurotypical people, the implicit social codes of humans, and how to mask their Autistic traits (thus the term masking). However, masking comes at a very high cost to the individual leading to an inordinate and exhausting stress response inside (not only emotionally and mentally but also neurobiologically) and is all in all….potentially a really problematic tradeoff.
The Autistic Superheroes
Speaking of superheroes, the autistic community is filled with them! From inventors (like Dr. Temple Grandin) and artists (Michelangelo is widely considered to probably have been an Autie according to source reports about his way of moving through the world) to scientists (according to standard criteria there does not seem to be much doubt that Einstein and Newton were both likely Autistic) to activists (think Greta Thunberg) and comedians (Jerry Seinfeld recently outed himself as belonging to the Autistic community), these fantastic individuals have shown the world that being different can a superpower (with the right supports and accommodations in place). It can also be really challenging - and for some completely debilitating, without those supports and accommodations.
Important note. For the Auties without an easily identifiable superpower - maybe you’re wishing you were a math savant like Einstein, or could play the piano like Mozart - but you feel shafted reading the list above because you were gifted a real strong interest in the history of the postal system or cookbooks from around the world and don’t know quite yet what to do with THOSE skills….fear not. These “less productive” or less monetizable skills were probably gifted by the fae instead of a capitalist - so I still count that as a win. Your beautiful brain - and beautiful self - is completely loveable, worthy, and important just as you are (fae giftings and all). You don’t need to have superhuman giftings to be worthy and important and completely loveable.
Autistic Joy
One thing that binds us all together is the power of joy and laughter. Sometimes, Autie humor takes a very non-traditional path (being humorous when you weren’t actually intending to be - there you go, bonus points all the time). Sometimes, autistic humor takes a detour through the surreal and unexpected, which makes for the best inside jokes. Like the time when my daughter was gushing over how much she loved my new wide-leg pants because they made me look “like a Clysedale” (in full seriousness, genuine, and with a completely straight face).
I cannot stress enough how important it is to learn to laugh about the idiosyncrasies, revel in the joy of a hyper-fixated interest or hobby, and find your people (the ones who accept you just as you are). Scratch that. A note on finding your people: find the ones who go beyond accepting (which sounds perilously close to tolerating). Find people who genuinely appreciate, love, and celebrate who you are. Find people who understand the importance of accommodations, patience, and understanding Autism itself and Autistic you as an individual - this will be lifesaving. And it will probably save you a lot of money in therapy.
In the grand tapestry of humanity, autism is just another brilliant thread. It adds color, depth, and diversity to the masterpiece of life - and that's what makes our world an incredible, laughter-filled, and beautifully diverse place. Another way to look at it - autism is just one more reminder that the universe herself has a terrific sense of humor. Oh Autism, you cosmic enigma, you.
